Disappointment

Dear Sophie,

You were so cute and disappointed today. Daddy and I took you to dinner tonight and there were Girl Scouts outside selling cookies. I bought two boxes of Thin Mints and you immediately asked for "COOKIES!" and I told you that you could have them after dinner. You pouted your lip and started to cry. So, we struck a deal. You would stop crying and I would give you your paci and then we'd eat dinner. After dinner, you didn't want to get in the car so we struck another deal - get in the car and get a cookie. You practically DOVE into your car seat! You ate two more cookies on the way to the ice cream shop. "ICE CREEEEEEEAM!" you shouted when we got inside. You shared ice cream with Daddy so we could make sure you only had a few bites. I got lids to take the leftovers home and you panicked. "NOOOOOOO! ICE CREEEEEEAM! Moresh!" you said. You're in a phase right now where you add "sh" to some words and more happens to be one of them so it comes out moresh. Very cute. Needless to say, we put you in the car and you asked over and over again for "Moresh chocolate! Pleeeeeeze!" Again, very cute. You were so disappointed that we wouldn't give you a fourth cookie or more ice cream. Oh darn.

Someday, you are going to be disappointed again, but it's going to be much bigger than just lack of further sugar consumption. You'll be disappointed that I won't let you go out late, hang out with what I think is the "wrong crowd", or dye your hair some awful color. You'll be disappointed that I won't let you spend a fortune on some rediculous outfit that you'll never wear more than once, or you'll be disappointed in me - something I've said, something I've done. You should know now that I'm sorry I've disappointed you or that my decisions have disappointed you. I just want what's best for you. It's the way my mom did it and the way I'll do it because I think I turned out pretty darn good.

While it's healthy to feel some disappointment while growing up, it's not fun. And it's not fun as an adult either. People will disappoint you and you'll disappoint yourself. It's what you learn from these events that counts...learn from those people, learn from those situations, and learn from yourself. And remember that sometimes disappointment is good - sometimes it's a wakeup call to get you to change and grow. It's up to you how you want to react to each disappointment you face. Just know that I'll be there each time with my arms open, ready to listen, loving you the whole way.

Love,
Mommy

Always ask "why?"

February 21, 2010

Dear Sophie Madeline,

Today you asked me "why?" and I gave you the best answer I could. Why couldn't you sit on the arm of the couch? Because you might fall off and hurt yourself. "Why?" you asked. "Because if you fall from that high up, it would hurt and then Mommy would be sad," I said. "Oh," you replied. You asked me "Why?" so many times today. It's a new thing for you to ask why. We took a few photos in the afternoon and when I asked you to sit down and play with your bunny you asked "why?" and then again when I told you to jump in place. You've been very good at following directions and every parent wants that, but I also want you to ask "why?"...Why? you may ask - because asking why is important in this life. You will learn more from others and from each situation if you ask "why?" and you will learn more about yourself. If you ask yourself why you do things, why you respond to things a certain way, why you feel certain things...you will be a better person for it. Ask this important question as much as you can. I may get frustrated sometimes when I have to answer it multiple times in just a few minutes, but I want you to ask. Really. And I want you to keep asking. Ask your teachers, ask your family, your friends, and yourself.

I love you,

Mommy