Procrastination

Dear Sophie,

Mommy has been procrastinating writing on this blog because I felt like I didn't have something to say, didn't have time to say it, or life just plain got in my way.

You actually know a lot about procrastination yourself. "Book...one book," you'll tell me after we've read a mountain of them before bed and I've told you it's time to go to sleep. Sometimes when I try to put pants on you or change your diaper, you roll around and try to crawl or run away. Procrastination.

The key will be learning which things you can wait to do and which things you can't. And then there are the things you can wait to do, but it's better if you do them sooner. Take my back as an example. Thanks to my pregnancy with you, I have a pretty bad back. So, after over two years of pain in my back, I decided to go see a doctor. I should have started going to someone two years ago! Procrastination can cause some "shoulda, coulda, wouldas"...I have much bigger shoulda, coulda, wouldas in my life right now, but I won't get into those details.

What I'm trying to teach you is that you can procrastinate things if you want, but you're the only one who will suffer in the end. When you try to procrastinate nap time, you melt down and we don't have fun. When you procrastinate eating dinner, you get super hungry and that's not fun for anyone either. And later in life, you shouldn't procrastinate doctors appointments, writing thank you notes (mommy is terrible with doing those) and tidying up the house. And just because I haven't listed it here, doesn't mean it's an okay task to procrastinate...okay? :)

If you feel like it's something that nags you (ie. you can hear my voice in your head telling you to go do it NOW), go do it. Not because I told you to or someone else told you to, but because only you will be hurt by not doing it or will benefit from doing it.

I love you!

Disappointment

Dear Sophie,

You were so cute and disappointed today. Daddy and I took you to dinner tonight and there were Girl Scouts outside selling cookies. I bought two boxes of Thin Mints and you immediately asked for "COOKIES!" and I told you that you could have them after dinner. You pouted your lip and started to cry. So, we struck a deal. You would stop crying and I would give you your paci and then we'd eat dinner. After dinner, you didn't want to get in the car so we struck another deal - get in the car and get a cookie. You practically DOVE into your car seat! You ate two more cookies on the way to the ice cream shop. "ICE CREEEEEEEAM!" you shouted when we got inside. You shared ice cream with Daddy so we could make sure you only had a few bites. I got lids to take the leftovers home and you panicked. "NOOOOOOO! ICE CREEEEEEAM! Moresh!" you said. You're in a phase right now where you add "sh" to some words and more happens to be one of them so it comes out moresh. Very cute. Needless to say, we put you in the car and you asked over and over again for "Moresh chocolate! Pleeeeeeze!" Again, very cute. You were so disappointed that we wouldn't give you a fourth cookie or more ice cream. Oh darn.

Someday, you are going to be disappointed again, but it's going to be much bigger than just lack of further sugar consumption. You'll be disappointed that I won't let you go out late, hang out with what I think is the "wrong crowd", or dye your hair some awful color. You'll be disappointed that I won't let you spend a fortune on some rediculous outfit that you'll never wear more than once, or you'll be disappointed in me - something I've said, something I've done. You should know now that I'm sorry I've disappointed you or that my decisions have disappointed you. I just want what's best for you. It's the way my mom did it and the way I'll do it because I think I turned out pretty darn good.

While it's healthy to feel some disappointment while growing up, it's not fun. And it's not fun as an adult either. People will disappoint you and you'll disappoint yourself. It's what you learn from these events that counts...learn from those people, learn from those situations, and learn from yourself. And remember that sometimes disappointment is good - sometimes it's a wakeup call to get you to change and grow. It's up to you how you want to react to each disappointment you face. Just know that I'll be there each time with my arms open, ready to listen, loving you the whole way.

Love,
Mommy

Always ask "why?"

February 21, 2010

Dear Sophie Madeline,

Today you asked me "why?" and I gave you the best answer I could. Why couldn't you sit on the arm of the couch? Because you might fall off and hurt yourself. "Why?" you asked. "Because if you fall from that high up, it would hurt and then Mommy would be sad," I said. "Oh," you replied. You asked me "Why?" so many times today. It's a new thing for you to ask why. We took a few photos in the afternoon and when I asked you to sit down and play with your bunny you asked "why?" and then again when I told you to jump in place. You've been very good at following directions and every parent wants that, but I also want you to ask "why?"...Why? you may ask - because asking why is important in this life. You will learn more from others and from each situation if you ask "why?" and you will learn more about yourself. If you ask yourself why you do things, why you respond to things a certain way, why you feel certain things...you will be a better person for it. Ask this important question as much as you can. I may get frustrated sometimes when I have to answer it multiple times in just a few minutes, but I want you to ask. Really. And I want you to keep asking. Ask your teachers, ask your family, your friends, and yourself.

I love you,

Mommy